"Pay special attention to the following rules of PA."

THE RULES OF RURAL PENNSYLVANIA ARE AS FOLLOWS:

LISTEN UP CITY SLICKERS!!!!

1. PULL YOUR DROOPY PANTS UP. YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

2. TURN YOUR CAP RIGHT, YOUR HEAD ISN'T CROOKED.

3. LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT; IT'S CALLED A 'DIRT ROAD.'  NO MATTER HOW SLOW YOU DRIVE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET DUST ON YOUR LEXUS. DRIVE IT OR GET OUT OF THE WAY.

4. THEY ARE CATTLE. THEY'RE LIVE STEAKS.THAT'S WHY THEY SMELL FUNNY TO YOU, GET OVER IT.   DON'T LIKE IT? I-80 GOES EAST AND WEST, I-81 GOES NORTH AND SOUTH. PICK ONE.

5. SO YOU HAVE A $60,000 CAR. WE'RE IMPRESSED. WE HAVE $150,000 CORN PICKERS AND HAY BALERS THAT ARE DRIVEN ONLY 3 WEEKS A YEAR.

6. SO EVERY PERSON IN RURAL PENNSYLVANIA WAVES. WE THINK OF IT AS BEING FRIENDLY. TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT.

7. IF THAT CELL PHONE RINGS WHILE AN 8-POINT BUCK AND 3 DOES ARE COMING IN, WE WILL SHOOT IT OUT OF YOUR HAND. YOU BETTER HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE IT UP TO YOUR EAR AT THE TIME.

8. YEAH, WE EAT TATERS & GRAVY, BEANS & CORNBREAD. WE FRY OUR FISH AFTER 'CATCHIN' 'EM'. YOU REALLY WANT SUSHI & CAVIAR? IT'S AVAILABLE AT THE CORNER BAIT SHOP

9. THE 'OPENER' REFERS TO THE FIRST DAY OF DEER SEASON. IT'S A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY HELD ON THE MONDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING.

10. WE OPEN DOORS FOR WOMEN. THA T IS APPLIED TO ALL WOMEN, REGARDLESS OF AGE.

11. NO, THERE'S NO 'VEGETARIAN SPECIAL' ON THE MENU. ORDER STEAK. OR YOU CAN ORDER THE CHEF'S SALAD AND PICK OFF THE 2 POUNDS OF HAM & TURKEY.

12. WHEN WE FILL OUT A TABLE, THERE ARE THREE MAIN DISHES: MEATS (INCLUDES FISH), VEGETABLES, AND BREADS. WE USE FOUR SPICES: SALT, PEPPER, HOT SAUCE AND KETCHUP. OH, YEAH...WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU FOLKS IN JERSEY CALL THAT STUFF YOU EAT...IT AIN'T REALCHILI!!!!

13. YOU BRING 'COKE' INTO MY HOUSE, IT BETTER BE BROWN, WET AND SERVED OVER ICE.

14. YOU BRING 'MARY JANE' INTO MY HOUSE, SHE BETTER BE CUTE, KNOW HOW TO SHOOT, AND HAVE LONG HAIR.

15. COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL IS AS IMPORTANT HERE AS THE EAGLES AND THE STEELERS, AND A DANG SITE MOREFUN TO WATCH.

16. YEAH, WE HAVE GOLF COURSES. BUT DON'T HIT THE WATER HAZARDS---IT SPOOKS THE FISH.

17. COLLEGES? WE HAVE THEM ALL OVER. WE HAVE STATE UNIVERSITIES, COMMUNITY COLLEGES, AND VO-TECHS. THEY COME OUTTA THERE WITH AN EDUCATION PLUS A LOVE FOR GOD AND COUNTRY, AND THEY STILL WAVE AT EVERYBODY WHEN THEY COME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

18. WE HAVE A WHOLE TON OF FOLKS IN THE ARMY, NAVY, AIR FORCE, AND MARINES. SO DON'T MESS WITH US. IF YOU DO, YOU WILL GET WHIPPED BY THE BEST.

19. TURN DOWN THAT BLASTED CAR STEREO! THAT THUMPITY-THUMP CRAP AIN'T MUSIC, ANYWAY. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE THAN WE WANT TO SEE YOUR BOXERS. REFER BACK TO #1.

20. 4 INCHES ISN'T A BLIZZARD-IT'S A FLURRY. DRIVE LIKE YOU GOT SOME SENSE IN IT, AND DON'T TAKE ALL OUR BREAD, MILK, AND TOILET PAPER FROM THE GROCERY STORES. THIS AIN'T ALASKA, WORST CASE YOU MAY HAVE TO LIVE A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT CROISSANTS. THE PICKUPS WITH SNOW BLADES WILL HAVE YOU OUT THE NEXT DAY. 

A TRUE PENNSYLVANIAN WILL SEND THIS ON!!!!!!!

This was sent by Cousin Parick

This is so true Patrick and with all the cousins in Pa, that know each other, the odds our great, of our clan ganging up on a guy with his pants falling down, i wouldn't be surprised if they would kindly sew his pants to his underwear. We sure wouldn't want anyone getting sunburned either, so his hat would need to have the sunvisor over his face. We can sure help him with that too. Poor guy can't even dress himself and doesn't even know what a good meal is. We will make sure he eats well, besides the meat and potatoes and vegatables, and bread, we also have dessert.. How could anyone refuse the good pies and cakes.  Will even send some home for him. As far as music, Pa knows their Music with a Famous Musician in our Family we know music when we hear it.   Most of us play insstruments ourselves. Only drugs are for old people so don't tell me they're yours, we have brains in Pa. Team Spirit, is what gets us high, we have alot of that too.

By the time the person leave Pa, he will be dress appropriately, fed well, learn drugs are for the old people who need them, what community and team spirit is and have a respect for the Military, Learn to hunt and enjoy deer meat.  Learn to fish, and fried it. He will have some culture with his music and the arts. He will also enjoy nature , the beautiful mountains and snow, and actually walk to place and get in shape too. All that fresh mountain air and good food and dressing right, he will be a much happier person.

All Children should be sent to Pa for a year,  don't you think.
As my Mother would say, It's God Country.

So send all those pants and hat kids to Upstate PA...will glady teach them and the Yuppies too.

Those poor people, we'll help them don't you worry now.

Send extra pies and cakes for the cause.
These people are starving for real food.
Extra sewing needles needed to sew the pants for the poor fellows.
They can't afford pants that fit.